Purposely Untitled

We are down at the beach and it is so nice here. It's a quiet one this year with not the whole family (F&J expecting a baby and L&J in Europe and the Swiss in Switzerland). I like it, I like it crowded too, but it's quieter so my kids are making up for the loss of noise. Every time I come here I am so relaxed and I spend a lot of time wishing and trying to figure out how we can live vacation all the time. Not what it's about though.

The tricky situation is Lucy. Lucy was found at the Virginia SPCA. I found her with my college roommate Sarah. In hindsight, visiting the SPCA for fun when you're not looking for a pet is not the greatest idea. Especially when you are leaving to live in the UK in 2 months.

Lucy was in a cage and very cross eyed, they said she was really mean and that I should not even think about taking her home. Her name was Simba (strange since she is a white and grey cat and doesn't even look like any animal from the Lion King) I thought that that woman was nuts and took her anyway. Actually, Sarah adopted her since they don't let you adopt over state lines. I have a lot of Lucy stories, too many to blog. So, I'll just get the highlights. She likes to come to the car when you get home, like a dog. She used to hide under the bed and attack your feet as soon as you woke up to get up When I got married, she didn't like it and would lay beside Joel and stare at him all night long and freak him out.

Last year, Lucy was diagnosed with diabetes, so we bought the special food (which she didn't eat) and started giving her shots. Since she wouldn't eat the food, I made her chicken so she would have a high protein diet. We got a cat lover to take care of her when we were out of town. But now she isn't doing well. Her belly is swollen, she is probably blind and she is staying in the basement all of the time. We aren't exactly sure what to do. She is 13 years old and it seems as if we should just make her comfortable. I feel like I'm giving up. What happened to the me that would jump though any hoop, spend any amount of money, and wouldn't even go out of town if it meant she would be lonely. Now, I am practical (old) and it seems like I just want her to be better, but am not sure how to do it and I have sort of given up. I feel like Lucy and I have grown up together, her always there for me and me, slipping away. She was there before my current life (husband, kids etc.) and I feel like I have abandoned her and I am sad. I don't even know what I'm writing right now, it just seems like for Lucy she is losing out in every level. I am crying too much to keep my thoughts to get it together so I had better sign off.